Damn you Capitalism...

Listen, I'm what most of my friends like to call a Conservative.  I don't put much stock in it, as I have some very socialist views, to go along with my Nationalistic fervor and the desire to make sure people actually speak English OR French before emigrating to my country... I mean come on, we give you two languages, PICK ONE OF THEM.  But unfortunately the common theory people hold Conservatives to, is that it's all about the money, big business is awesome, and if you're not paying your own way, you're a drain on society and should be tossed on the streets.

I only agree with about half of those statements, and no I'm not going to tell you which ones.  The problem with this is... Capitalism fucking sucks.  I like it better than Communism and all that, but seriously, it's bloody ridiculous.  I'm in the Marketing world. I sell crap.  I understand the value of spinning crap and making everyone love the idea of your product and see value where there is none.  The problem with advertising, is that it's mean.  You see, Advertising really only works on Stupid People.  Not just slightly stupid people, I mean completely, irrevocably, mentally retarded people; and we prey on these poor dunces like Hyenas on an injured Gazelle.

The reason for my rant today was an advertisement I saw on Television yesterday.  See the ad, and the rest of my rant, after the break.







Now, let that product seep into your brain a little bit.  Seems like a good idea on the surface, doesn't it?  Have you spotted the fatal flaw in this, the reason why if you wanted to buy one, you just may be an idiot?  I'll enlighten you.

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YOU'RE ABOUT TO WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS

Seriously, what the hell does it matter if the SOAP PUMP has Bacteria on it? So you get your hands a little more dirty before you WASH THEM? Are you fucking Kidding me people? This is insanity.  Now I mean sure, lets say you have an odd fetish where you have to lick a soap pump in order to get off. THEN be concerned about the Soap Pump having bacteria on it. Otherwise, just continue on after touching the bacteria laden soap pump dispenser, and WASH YOUR GODDAMN HANDS LIKE YOU ORIGINALLY PLANNED ON, KILLING ALL THAT EVIL BACTERIA.

Therefore, I devote this final clip to you Lysol.  Fuck you.