Je me souviens Montreal...

There it was. Morning. The Khan to this Drunken Poet's Jim Kirk.  Sleeping in a basement, head pounding as though a herd of rhino's was using my brain for a siesta.  Memories of the previous night of insanity start flooding back in an unending torrent of continual laughter.  I cough.  Too many cigarettes the night before.  Oh Crap, I agreed to give Spyboy's friend Rockgirl a ride to Montreal. Check the clock. Was supposed to pick her up in 20 minutes.  The rest of the crew is still comatose.  Not going to happen.  Emergency text.  She was already planning on waiting for us knowing what the Market can do on the unsuspecting. Great Girl.

English walks out of his bedroom. "Did we almost get a fight last night?".  More laughter.  Manage to get the troops out of bed, packed, and shower while they're getting going.  Wish the rest of them had.  Manhole packs for the trip: a Toothbrush and a pair of socks, no change of clothes. Dude is a legend.

Pick Rockgirl up an hour late. Not too bad, all told.  Car reeks of booze seeping from our pores.  Poor Girl.  Car trip is one of the ages, listening to crazy English music off Matt's Ipod.  Manage to make it to Montreal.  I fail at navigation, went to the wrong hotel. Somehow, we manage to not drive Rockgirl away from us entirely, agree to meet up later in the evening.

More after the jump...

Find our Hotel. Immediately leave it to wander downtown Montreal.  Comment: Women in Montreal just Dress 100x Better than women in Ontario. Was like wandering a seabed, but instead of Sea fronds, it was hot chicks. Paradise.  Wandered near Old Quarter, spent 10 Minutes creepily following extremely hot woman. She loved it, we saw her later.  Found Rue St. Catherine.  Would find out later that this location is home to over 15 Strip Clubs. That's a lot of women taking their clothes off. Not that I would know about such things.  Place is packed.  Dude tries to get us to go into a Strip Club by saying there's a lot of Americans in there. Obviously didn't pick up my beautiful Southern Ontario Accent.  Fuck that.  More wandering.  Alcohol from Corner Shoppes in Montreal: Way more expensive than the Beerstore.  Convenience has it's downside.  4 Hours wandering takes its toll. I need a nap.  Back to the Hotel.  Sleeping is not allowed, instead we drink more beer conveniently purchased from the convenience store.  Matt decides me starting to doze off is an insult, decides to brain me with a can of beer to correct my behavior.  Oddly enough it works.

Head down to the Hotel Bar.  Bartender hooks us up with the skinny on the drinking scene.  Crescent Street he says, gives us a map.  Matt loves maps.  Text from Rockgirl, Meet on Crescent Street she says. Good plan.  Bartender neglects to tell us Pints cost 9 bucks each.  We don't find out till morning, so he gets away with it.

Back out in Town. Hotel is smack dab in the middle of Montreal's China Town. Nearly buy chickens feet to pay Matt back for the Beer can to the skull.  Refrain.  Long walk to Crescent Street.  Everyone has Basketballs and Harlem Globetrotters Jerseys on.  Pretty fucking random if you ask me.  Make it to Crescent Street.  Find Rockgirl and her friend.  Nice Irish Pub, many pints to be had.  Matt again proves his adeptness at introducing himself to the ladies.  Wait, it worked!  He's chatting up this girl with reckless abandon in sight of her 4 friends.  Damn, she has a couple single friends who need distracting.  James Bond Marine type Hand Signals, Manhole and English are on the scene.  It's like watching Navy SEALS conduct a boarding op.  Hold on a minute.  This chick is the Irish Dancing Champion of Canada.  Matt, what have you done?!

Her and her friends put on a show for the Pub. It's amazing.  Wait, we're leaving? Why the hell are we leaving?  You can find better? She's an IRISH DANCING CHAMPION.  Ah shit, English is already on the way out.

Rockgirl, was wonderful hanging out with you, sure you don't wanna come with us... oh fuck I'm alone, gotta jet. Nice to meet you Rockgirls friend!...


Fade to Black...

 Some Things that Happen in Montreal, Stay in Montreal.