Damn you Capitalism...

Listen, I'm what most of my friends like to call a Conservative.  I don't put much stock in it, as I have some very socialist views, to go along with my Nationalistic fervor and the desire to make sure people actually speak English OR French before emigrating to my country... I mean come on, we give you two languages, PICK ONE OF THEM.  But unfortunately the common theory people hold Conservatives to, is that it's all about the money, big business is awesome, and if you're not paying your own way, you're a drain on society and should be tossed on the streets.

I only agree with about half of those statements, and no I'm not going to tell you which ones.  The problem with this is... Capitalism fucking sucks.  I like it better than Communism and all that, but seriously, it's bloody ridiculous.  I'm in the Marketing world. I sell crap.  I understand the value of spinning crap and making everyone love the idea of your product and see value where there is none.  The problem with advertising, is that it's mean.  You see, Advertising really only works on Stupid People.  Not just slightly stupid people, I mean completely, irrevocably, mentally retarded people; and we prey on these poor dunces like Hyenas on an injured Gazelle.

The reason for my rant today was an advertisement I saw on Television yesterday.  See the ad, and the rest of my rant, after the break.

Je me souviens Montreal...

There it was. Morning. The Khan to this Drunken Poet's Jim Kirk.  Sleeping in a basement, head pounding as though a herd of rhino's was using my brain for a siesta.  Memories of the previous night of insanity start flooding back in an unending torrent of continual laughter.  I cough.  Too many cigarettes the night before.  Oh Crap, I agreed to give Spyboy's friend Rockgirl a ride to Montreal. Check the clock. Was supposed to pick her up in 20 minutes.  The rest of the crew is still comatose.  Not going to happen.  Emergency text.  She was already planning on waiting for us knowing what the Market can do on the unsuspecting. Great Girl.

English walks out of his bedroom. "Did we almost get a fight last night?".  More laughter.  Manage to get the troops out of bed, packed, and shower while they're getting going.  Wish the rest of them had.  Manhole packs for the trip: a Toothbrush and a pair of socks, no change of clothes. Dude is a legend.

Pick Rockgirl up an hour late. Not too bad, all told.  Car reeks of booze seeping from our pores.  Poor Girl.  Car trip is one of the ages, listening to crazy English music off Matt's Ipod.  Manage to make it to Montreal.  I fail at navigation, went to the wrong hotel. Somehow, we manage to not drive Rockgirl away from us entirely, agree to meet up later in the evening.

More after the jump...

The Nation's Capital...

Been awhile since I've posted anything, and there is an excellent reason for that.  I've been nearly dead with exhaustion.  I posted last saying that English and I were headed off on a bit of a vacation last weekend, and it was an adventure beyond imagining.  We rented a car and headed out, to pick up our friend Matt from the airport, on the second leg of his world tour.  Matt is from England, so I knew from the get go that these travels would result in nothing more than my liver losing a few years of my life.  Oh if only I had known...I would have done it anyways.

First stop, Ottawa, our Nation's Capital, to visit Spyboy & Manhole.  Spyboy was on his way back home for Easter, so we allowed him to show us around the City, as we planned our assault on the city for that evening.  For those of you who know nothing about Ottawa, I will introduce you to the greatness that is the Market.  In the city where I currently spend my time, we have a modest drinking quarter, something along the lines of 12 or 15 mediocre and basically pitiful establishments.  The Market in Ottawa, is a literally a district. Filled with Pubs, Clubs, back out of the way establishments, everything.  It is, in the most basic terms, a literaly utopia for a Drunken Poet such as myself.  We wended our way back and forth, partaking in the evenings finest, consuming without regard for the state of our livers, our self respect, or most importantly our wallets.

Read more after the Break.

Late Night Laundry Moments

Yup, doing laundry at 1am on a work night. Off on a road trip with English and another buddy from across the pond tomorrow.  Found the awesomeness.  Need to pass it on.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I need not explain anymore.  Pure awesome, pure win. Pure.

Random Insanity of the Day

Well, got the random rant out of my brain. Now to bring everyone to the true reason I started this blog.  Beyond it acting as a soap box to vent my frustrations at the world and pretend people listen to me.  To post about cool shit and share it with anyone who's actually listening.  I give a lot of credit for this idea of my blog to Happy Party, a friend of mine from back in my University days.  She maintains a Picture album on the Facebook of all the things that make her happy, and it's a spectacular album, filled up with crazy things that always make me laugh, smile, or howl in laughter.

First topic: Hot Nerdy chicks.  I'm a nerd, I'm a nerd who loves sports, but more than anything, I'm a nerd.  The logo I've created in the top right corner is an amalgum of The Squadron Crest for Rogue Squadron, and Manchester United.  That's how nerdy I am.  Thus, when I repost this picture, you'll understand why this is so amazingly sexy to a man like me.  As a nerd, we most often believe that there are no sufficiently nerdy chicks to keep up with our nerdiness. 

If you celebrate Passover on an Overpass...

You'll go back in time.  It's funny right?  Thank you to Conan O'brien for inspiring today's blog title, because I had absolutely no idea what to call it.  So there's been a lot going on in the recent week that has me abuzz, has me wanting to scream my name to the heavens while wearing a raincoat and deck shoes.  What is it that has me clenching my fist at the sky, challenging the sun in this manner?  Boredom.  That's right, sheer, fantastic, soul-crushing boredom.  It's a time of renewal in the world, spring flowers popping up, seasons changing, and what the hell is going on in my life?  Nothing.

The Friday Rodeo

Well it's Friday.  I'm trying to do work.  Oddly enough, even though I'm trying to do work, the IT Department is completely shitting the bed, and therefore I cannot do work.  So in my time, I have decided to spread the joy of a few things I've discovered in the last half hour or so of trawling the web for funny things.

First and foremost, on a level of geekdom and coolness, and continuing my absolute love of everything to do with Star Wars, I present to you the fashion discovery of the century. Nay, the entire existance of humanity.  Never before has it been possible to not only wear your pride in nerd-dom so discretely, but to also be able to be doing it while sporting some nice kicks. The re-present to you, my non-existant or very small audience: THE ADIDAS STAR WARS SHOE COLLECTION!

It comes in many different varieties, show your love of the Dark Side, chill out with Han Solo in the Millenium Falcon, brighten the world with toxic orange Rebel Alliance flight suit swag. WHATEVER YOU WANT. Just know that Jar Jar killed the Universe, and Anakin Skywalker was only a badass once he got half chopped up and then killed shit for a living for a decade or so. Or in other words, when he wasn't being played by emokin Hayden Christensen.